Stumbling on Grumpy

Daniel Gilbert is a well-known author of the book Stumbling On Happiness. I've just finished it and to be honest, I’m not sure why he’s so renowned. Gilbert spends the entire book explaining why we are wrong. We can’t predict what will make us happy, our memories are flawed and we can’t even see straight. There is no question that his writing style is entertaining and he has a great sense of humour but I’m really not sure that his chosen topic is ideal, given his outlook.

Anyone who chooses to read a book about happiness, is probably wanting to be happier. Even the process of reading the book made me unhappy as I counted the pages towards the end. I’d favour reading The How of Happiness or the The Happiness Project if you want to work on being happier.

The basic tenet of Gilbert’s book is that we are highly incapable of predicting our future emotions. But why is that so important? Certainly, if we are about to make a big life decision, we’d like to make sure it will bring us happiness. He shows in the research that it’s more accurate to ask someone else in that position how happy it makes them. But no-one can truly be completely in the position you wish to full as they are not you. 

If you know yourself well, you will know what you like, you know where you want to live or who you want to marry or what career to follow. Imagine me asking a writer if it’s fun and basing my future career on that. Wouldn't I be the fool?

I’m expending a great deal of time and effort into knowing my strengths and weaknesses, talents and desires. Once those are completely clear, I can formulate options for my new career, try them out and make a decision. I’m all for talking to people to understand the pros and cons of any role and what others find challenging and rewarding. I like to obtain views from others as my leadership style is affiliatory. But no-one comes with my experiences, background, culture, beliefs, fears, talents and dreams.

Now that I’m finished his book, it’s time to shake things up again. Happiness is not found in monotony, especially for someone right-brained. As mentioned in my previous post, I believe creativity to be one of the key paths to finding yourself and your life passion. My original search for books on how to find your passion yielded few results. But I did come across a book called ‘The Artists Way’, written by Julia Cameron who helps people connect with their innate talents and their creativity. I’m really excited about it and I’m hoping it will unlock something in me that will lead to some real personal growth. 

Follow Your Bliss

I’m crazy about Masterchef Australia for a number of reasons. I am, of course, really interested in people who have the courage to switch paths, sometimes quite late in life. It’s so interesting to see how the contestants often comment on how they have grown as a person so much more than they anticipated. They entered the competition to gain skills and a head-start in becoming a chef. Not only do they all (not only the winner) pick up new skills in their chosen profession, but they push themselves to grow. In doing so, they discover a profound flow experience in the creation of food. It is a creative exercise and requires imagination, skill and knowledge. What an amazing journey they are taken on and it’s no wonder there are tears as each contestant is eliminated from the competition.

One of the judges this week used the phrase ‘follow your bliss’ and that really sums up my intention for this blog. What is it that inspires you to be great? What would you give up your everyday life for in order to experience? What is your bliss?

For me, my bliss is writing. There are many jobs that incorporate writing and I know that my journey ahead includes a lot of it. As well as writing, I can find flow in other things, usually creative pursuits such as playing piano and drawing.

I've realised lately that I don’t have a sense of entitlement that many people have. Perhaps it’s my upbringing or something within me that pushes me to prioritise the needs of others above my own. That’s something I need to work on and I’ll need to teach myself that I’m also entitled to things. Primarily, I’m entitled to have a job that is blissful. I’m entitled to love what I do and to gain a great deal of enjoyment from my everyday work. As long as it’s not to the detriment of anyone else, that’s not asking too much. That’s just making the most of living.

But why do so many people stay in jobs that are not fulfilling? Is it because they don’t know themselves enough to know what they want or need? Is it because they don’t feel entitled? Is it because they are afraid to lose something – usually a regular income? Is it because they feel afraid of being judged by others?

Changing careers late in life does take courage. It takes confidence and self-knowledge in order to go down a new path. You’ll need to defend your decision to the nay-sayers that inevitably will try to make you feel as if you’re making a mistake. Centre yourself, take a deep breath, and follow the path. Trust yourself enough to know that it’s only you who can define your path, or at least the path you want. And who knows what magical delights await.

I've come to realise that creativity is a great tool in discovering your talents and in getting to know yourself. None of us can escape being creative, in what we wear, how we do make-up and accessorise as well as the words we choose to express ourselves. We are all creative and the more we explore our creative side, the closer we get to knowing our true selves and what our talents are. This I believe to be a powerful tool in self-discovery. So dance, sing, paint or do whatever you feel expresses yourself fully.

“Follow your bliss and don’t be afraid, and doors will open where you didn’t know they were going to be.”  ~Joseph Campbell